10:54 AM Etna Khairullah 0 Comments

I am so shame.

Whether if I should tell you nor you know or not whose become this post dedicated for. One day in high school, I know how to fall in love for the first time. But it feels so sick and I am so scared to admit my own feeling. The love I feel is fall in love to every girls he meets then I watch it over and over again until the scene ends up and changed with another scenes. Then for the next love story I made is only a one-sided-broken-love stories. For me, as a girl. Living with a conservative mind is uneasy. Though people always say it doesn't matter to confess for a boy that I love but I feel it is such a shame for me to declare. The main thought is I can't find what is the true meaning of love. I just watch people make a lot of shed tears because of love. Both the one who broke and broken.

Then I just found love as a game. They come and go to my life just to broke me apart. I always the one who fall in love, then when I choose to admit after a million times deeply think. It ends up in big mess. They left. It always ended up in broken. I don't know why I am unable to beloved. I try my best. Then the game is over. All I have to do just restart the game.

There is my first love story curse. Who I choose rather silent then tell to let him walk away from being my friend. Until now, I am not afraid to love someone. And then I realize, it is not a love. It is an affection. Because love considers as we are brave to declare what we feel about, then they feel the same way. There will be a couple of love. Then I'll always give my affection endless. To anyone I feel so strong about.

It is not about being over-sensitive. I appreciate any affection to people I met. Friends, best-friends, strangers. It is not about I only think about love instead of any other things in the whole worlds. But I want people to grow their basic knowledge, as we unconsidered. It is just one thing important in this world to create peace, well-being and happiness.

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